Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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