Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
