Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
