let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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