ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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