But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
