yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My penis needs a shock collar
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
