This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
