I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
