What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
