maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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