@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
