I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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