im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
