Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
