i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
