Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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