im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My pussy is not your playground.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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