you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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