I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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