im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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