I will die if light touches me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
