READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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