careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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