I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
