Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize