My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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