small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
