Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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