I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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