well I can't set my house on fire every night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize