I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
