shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
