he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
