We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
