Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize