I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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