ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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