soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize