This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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