They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
