It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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