Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
