if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
