that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
