Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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