i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The uberlube is also flammable
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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