Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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