ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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