if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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