there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
