I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
