Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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