Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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