Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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