i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
