his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
