no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
